but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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