my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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