I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
