Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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