New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
