making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
