I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Found your dick twin last night
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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