what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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