Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Randomize
