Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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