It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
