Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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