JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
