after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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