Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Less talking, more tequila
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
