She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
