hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
