Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We had to coat check the pizza.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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