Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
