Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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