mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
