I just threw up on my dentist
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
