i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
