he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
