so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize