We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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