this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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