Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
