just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
