It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
As shirtless as possible
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
