Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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