this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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