my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
