it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
