who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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