There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
