Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
