try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
