we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
we should paint friendship bongs
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
