Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize