Midget sex pt 2 tonight
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
