Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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