yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
My cat gives me a boner
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize