I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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