I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize