so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
