with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
