you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize