you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
