DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
