Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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