Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
