Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
