The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize