Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Ketchup is God's man juice
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I have fence marks all over my body
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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