I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
