My hand turned me down
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It's just like the Real World with babies
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
