It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize