dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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